Coming Out of Left Field

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I don't understand my Muse. Ask her politely for a book review, and she stalls. Press her for a school paper, and she freezes. But stick her in a black comedy class and force-feed her with RNC news, and she suddenly gets creative. Go figure:

Bush headed to Iraq – as soldier?

By Ima Hawke, 9/3/04

New York (AP) – In a surprising turn of events, President George Bush announced last night that he plans to volunteer for military service in Iraq.

The impromptu declaration came during Bush’s acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention. The president was in the middle of reading his prepared speech when, in front of thousands of delegates, he suddenly put down his papers and stated his intentions.

“You know what? I’m sick of hearing Democrats complaining about Iraq,” Bush said. “You know what they’ve been saying. That we have no business being there, that we don’t know what we’re doing, that we’ve actually made things worse. OK, so it hasn’t been a walk in the park, but America is a great country, and we’re going to turn things around.”

“We’re doing it here,” Bush continued, as the crowd cheered, “and we’ll do it there too. I believe that. I’m confident we can help Iraq along the road to full democracy, and to make life safer for them and for the whole world. In fact, I’m so confident that tomorrow morning, I’m going to go to the nearest military recruiter and sign up!”

"Bush on the warpath", continued (on

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