Coming Out of Left Field

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Let's read the want ads

The wife and I get the Sunday Boston Globe, so we spent a little time this morning with the Help Wanted section. This seems to be a slow time of year for print listings in my field, but we had fun anyway imagining the possibilities in some different areas:

Dental Billing Supervisor
"Requires '5+ years in a clinical/dental office setting.' You've been going to the dentist for more than five years, does that count?"

Analytical Chemist
"That's where you blow things up, and figure out why they blew up."

Quote Center Specialist
"Someone would call up and say, 'There's this saying I can't remember, I know it comes from such-and-such book and sounds something like this ...', and I'd say, "Give me a moment, and I'll look it up for you.' Of course the ad doesn't say anything about that, but they probably don't want anyone to know how cool the job is."

High School Principal
"If you were the principal, I'd want to go to your school."

Respiratory Therapist
"Breathe in --"
"Breathe out --"
"Breathe in --"
"Breathe out. And if that didn't do the trick, I'd say, 'OK, put the lungs on,' and they'd tell me all their problems, and then I'd say, 'So, how did you feel about that?'"

No leads, but a few laughs, and that's worth something.


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